Monthly Archive

More pictures from Saturday’s photo safari:

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I woke up this morning at a little after four am. Since I’d planned on getting up at five to go to the gym, I decided I might as well stay up and get moving early. I should have known better. My gym opens at five during the week and I thought it did the same on Sundays, but it turns out they don’t open ’til six on the weekends. So, after getting ready and heading out, I find the gym dark and empty. Have you ever tried to find a constructive way to kill forty five minutes at five am on a Sunday morning?…. and fight the temptation to just go back to bed at the same time? I was not a happy camper.

Other than that, it’s been a pretty good weekend. We had the Game on Friday, which was a lot of fun. It was my first time moderating since I went on the Lexapro and I could really feel a difference. It’s really hard to maintain my concentration with multiple stimuli now. I am just way distractible. I’d start to look something up in the rule books and get side tracked by something that caught my eye or a side conversation going on. I’m hoping that’s a side effect that will improve as I adjust to the medication. If not, I’m going to have to figure out a way to compensate. Still, the game was fun and being out and socializing felt good too.

Saturday, Kendra and I went to one of the local parks and spent some time taking pictures. That also felt really good. Fresh air, sunshine, good company, and being creative are all good things. it sure beats sitting alone in my room watching stupid movies on the sci-fi channel. So, I’ll be posting new pictures throughout the week (or longer), starting with a few of my favorite niece:

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A couple just got married and on the night of their honey-
moon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband,
“Please be gentile, I’m still a virgin.”

The husband being shocked, replied, “How’s that possible?
You’ve been married three times before.”

The wife responds, “Well, my first husband was a gynecologist
and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband
was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it.

“Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he
wanted to do was…oh, do I miss him!”

* Check out Sinfest for more laughs

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I’m starting to get the creative itch back. I’m hoping that the weather will cooperate this weekend, so Kendra and I can go out on a photo safari. It’ll have to be local, as I’m way short on funds for fuel, but just getting out and snapping some pictures would be nice.

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This is a picture of a figure I have on my desk. Sometimes I feel like this, just a clown braced and waiting for the big kaboom.

Of course, waiting passively only makes the explosion inevitable and hurtling through the air out of control is not the same as flying….

… And that, my friends, is my thought for the day.

I had forgotten to get my estrogen patch prescription re-
filled, and soon the symptoms of menopause–hot flashes,
forgetfulness and irritability returned.

At the drugstore, I found myself telling the pharmacist all
about my problems. After listening patiently, he asked, “So,
how many people asked you to get this refilled?

Well, this has certainly been a weird week. My apologies to those I worried with the lack of posting. I’ve been spending a lot of time inside my own head…. and not doing much else.

On the good side, the Lexapro seems to be working, cutting through the fog of apathy to glimpse the sun. My energy level is still total crap, but I think that may be more inertia than anything else right now. Plus, I’ve managed to come down with a cold on top of everything else, so that doesn’t help.

Ugh, I had more to say, but my brain is blanking now that I’m actually sitting in front of the computer. Maybe some lousy generic coffee will provide inspiration.

My apologies for the lack of updating/commenting/responding to e-mails. I’ve been feeling very isolationist of late and I’ve been neglecting….. well, everything really. I’ve gotten a whole lot of bupkis done this week. About the only positive step I took, was making and keeping the appointment with the doctor who did the depression study last year. So, once again, I’m going on the brain medicine. I’ve been prescribed Lexapro, which is what we think I was taking during the study, but at double the dose I was taking before. I responded fairly quickly during the study, so hopefully my mood will be lifting fairly soon.

The doctor also suggested (strongly) that I go see a regular physician for a check up. His exact words were “you don’t exactly look like the picture of health”, which is probably psychiatrist code for “You look like absolute crap”. I checked online and my “regular” (read as “the one I’ve seen all of twice in the past five years”) takes Medicaid, so I suppose I’ll see about making an appointment on Monday. Heh, maybe I should check into dentists while I’m at it and be a total drain on productive society.

So yeah, that’s my status at the moment. Not much in the excitement department, eh?

Annnnnd here we are again. I started out my week by having to go to a lame Job Search Seminar as part of the requirements for collecting my welfare benefits. All in all, the thing was a total waste of my time. All they did was go over the very basics of looking for a job (dress nicely for the interview, do NOT actually smoke crack in the reception area of a potential new job, yadda yadda yadda). Actually, I got off fairly easily, so I can’t complain too much. All I have to do is go to this seminar and then turn in a worksheet detailing my job search activities every Friday. Up until recently, they actually required you to be in their office complying with a “work activity” requirement five days a week, but the state cut their funding, so now it’s just the worksheets. Personally, I think the worksheets are better. I mean, if I’m doing busy work for thirty hours a week, when am I supposed to actually look for a job? Plus, it just doesn’t make any financial sense. Between food stamps and the cash allowance, I’m getting a whopping three hundred dollars a month from the state. That would mean I’m earning, what, two dollars and fifty cents an hour?! Not to mention losing the time to look for a real job? I think NOT!

Meh, in other news, I’m now also receiving Medicaid, which is the closest thing I’ve had to health insurance in years (and years). I’ve thought it over and made an appointment on Friday to see the doctor I did that depression study with to see about going back on Lexapro. I was doing a hell of a lot better at the end of that study than I’m doing now, so I think it would help and the doctor visit is free because I did the study. Between that and Medicaid covering the prescription, I think I can afford it. I’ve gotta do something to get myself back on track.

Free association is described as a “psychoanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content.” Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.

I say … and you think … ?

1. Chemical ::Dependency
2. Poker ::In the rear
3. Federal ::Witness
4. Mattress ::Mambo
5. Who am I? ::No one of consequence
6. Investigation ::Forensic
7. In good hands ::With Allstate
8. 8:30 ::Wakey, Wakey
9. Creditors::Calling
10. Resource ::Renewable