* Stolen shamelessly from Lez

1) Wheres the person you like right now?
Theoretical

2) Last time you consumed alcohol?
My 40th birthday, six months ago

3) What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
On the treadmill at the gym

4) What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Playing “The Sims 2″

5) How do you feel about the person who texted you last?
Unconditional love

6) Have you ever been around someone who was high?
Quite often, but not recently

7) Do you like your life as of now?
It’s a work in progress. I’ll let you know when I finish

8 ) Last thing you purchased?
A newspaper

9) Have you ever drank with your number one?
Yeppers

10) Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are?
I’m home, it’s a decent place, but I’d rather be somehwere that’s my own

11) What are you excited for?
I’m excited for the happiness of the people I care about

12) Hows your heart lately?
Rythmic

13) Who was the last person you hugged?
Kendra

14) Who was the last person to hold your hand?
I honestly don’t remember

15) Are you a jealous person?
Not a bit

16) Did you have a good birthday this year?
Decent, not fabulous

17) Are you tired right now?
Yep.

18 ) What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?
As long as both chicks are hot, I’m all for them!

Seriously though, Love is love and labels are meaningless. Hold on to those who make you happy and to hell with those who don’t approve

19) Do you chew on your straws?
uh-uh

20) Have you ever been called a tease?
*laughs hysterically*

21) Last Message on myspace from?
Ken

22) Three days from now will you be in a relationship?
If I am, those pigs are going to play hell with air traffic

23) Do you have curly hair?
Nah

24) Who was at your house last?
Jim

25) Do you smoke cigarettes?
Nope

26) Do you lead people on?
*renewal of laughter*

27) Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Assuming you mean romantically, probably not

28 ) Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it

29) Is there something you wanna do?
Many things

30) As of today, do you like anyone?
Meh, no one I’m pining over, if that’s what you mean

31) Have you kissed anyone on the lips today?
Nope

32) Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
That I have. My current record is above 70 hours.

33) Is your sister a slut?
My niece reads this, so I’ll decline to answer that

34) Do you like to cuddle?
Very much

35) Last person you cried over?
To the best of my memory, my Grandfather when he died

36) Do you cry easily?
Not at all.

37) Do you have any siblings?
One sister

38 ) Where did you go today ?
To the gym

39) What should you be doing right now?
Whatever I want

40) Are you a heavy sleeper?
Fairly

41) When was the last time you did the dishes?
Yesterday

42) Name every one that made you smile today:
Just myself and my weird ass sense of humor, but then, I haven’t been very sociable today

*Stolen from Avienne

You’re really upset; who is the first person you vent to?
Myself. I’ll talk to other people once I’ve calmed down, but if I’m really upset, I isolate myself.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Ideally, I wouldn’t date a smoker, but I’m not sure if it would be a deal breaker or not.

Can you do a split?
Hell no

Last person you texted?
Kendra

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
Morning, definitely, unless I’ve done something during the day to make me stinky

Have you been to New York City?
Yeah, but I prefer not to. I’m not a city type person.

Who is the last person you added to your contacts list in your phone?
Cyndi

Do you have any expensive jewelry?
Uhmmmm, nope

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Also Kendra

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone’s life?
You mean a positive one or just a difference? Either way yes, yes I have

Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?
I did until I had to answer this question, then the brain cell holding that information died a horrible, screaming death.

Have you ever tattooed anyone’s name on you?
Hell no

Why is your number one on MySpace number one?
Uhmmmm, she was the first person I added as a friend on Myspace, so she’s in the number one slot

How many piercings do you have?
None. I used to have one ear pierced, but it’s since closed up

Which year has been the best so far?
I suppose that would be 2003, the year I went back to school.

Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
Ayep

Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
Depends on which family member you’re talking about.

Last time you laughed really hard?
Really hard? Watching an Eddie Izzard DVD

Last text message in your inbox?
U home later?

When is your next road trip?
No road trip until I have a job and spare money, so…. not in the foreseeable future

Do you know anyone addicted to any type of drugs?
Unfortunately, yes

Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
I’d laugh hysterically and change my name to Mary

Where is your phone?
On my desk

Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
No, I do not. What’s he been telling you?

Where is your pet(s) right now?
Buried so long, not even bones remain

What color phone do you have?
Silver

What kind of phone do you have?
A slide phone

How many kids do you want to have?
Is it possible to have a negative number?

What color are your eyes?
Hazel

What is the natural color of your hair?
Blond and gray

What are you doing tomorrow?
Much the same as I did today.

Does heartbreak feel as bad as it sounds?
Never had it broken, just drained and dried out

What is the closest blue object to you?
The notebook I write down my workout information in

Have you eaten popcorn in the past 48 hours?
Nope

Been to a strip club?
Many, many times…. Not recently though

If you could say anything to any one person, what would it be?
Money’s not a problem, go to any college you want

Describe your life in one word:
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Created by OnePlusYou

How Old where you when……

1. Fell in love (real love, not that ‘Okay, I dated my high-school crush and broke up three seconds later’ thing)?: 33

2. Got a MySpace account - 37 (The sad part is I know this because the first comment I ever got on MySpace is still on the frontpage)

3. Smoked weed - 12 or 13

4. Got French kissed - I honestly don’t remember

5. Went to the hospital for surgery - I never had surgery

6. Got your heart broken badly - 34

8. Got arrested - I got busted for shoplifting before I was in high school, if that counts. I actually was cuffed and went to jail back when I was 23 or so.

9. Smoked a Cigarette - Tried it in my mid-teens, threw up for an hours, decided it wasn’t for me

10. Broke your first bone - Hmmm, nose broken in a car accident when I was 15 or 16

11. Went to a concert - As a kid, music was big in my family.

12. Got your own cell phone - 39

13. Got a speeding ticket - Uhmmmm, speeding, not just any ticket? Fist one I can remember was while going to Gibbs, so 36 or 37

14. Ran away - I’ve been running away my whole life

16. Snuck out of the house - Never had to

17. Pierced other than your ears - Not for me, nope

18. Got a tattoo - Again, not my thing

19. Totaled a car - 16, while practicing driving… in our own driveway… Hit the gas instead of the brakes

20. Moved out of your parent house - 20… the first time

21. How old are you now - 40

22. Had a kid? - Never, ever, ever

*Stolen from Toki

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE MY ANSWERS!!!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

1. Name something you use in the shower?
Back scrubber

2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform?
Tighty Whities

3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield.
Parking ticket

4. Name something a man might buy before a date?
Breath Spray

5. What’s another word for blemish?
Pimple

6. Something you’d cook in the microwave?
Popcorn

7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving.
Sofa bed

8. Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman?
More ‘open minded’ (know what I mean? nudge-nude, wink-wink, say no more)

9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner.
Sniffs inappropriate places

10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for.
Sobriety

11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for?
Eating Brownies… No, wait… I mean Identifying Plants

12. Name a phrase with the word ‘Home’ in it?
Home is where the heart is.

13. Name a sport where players lose teeth?
Nascar (though that may just be the fans, I’m not sure)

14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student’s day?
Catch them passing notes and reading them to the class

15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying?
Their face gets all puffy

16. Name something found under a car?
People who don’t use the crosswalk

17. Name a bird you wouldn’t want to eat?
Avienne’s (because A: I just wouldn’t and B: She’d hurt me [badly])

18. Name something that gets folded?
Origami

19. Name what happened to this question?
Muttered something about Tijuana and ran out the door

20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it?
My bank account

*Stolen from Avienne

 

 Your Score: Troll

You scored 50% Esotericism, 74% Power, and 84% Malevolence!

  In Scandinavian myth, trolls are ugly, malicious creatures and the enemies of mankind. They are much bigger and stronger than humans, and leave their caves only after dark to hunt. If they are exposed to sunlight they will instantly turn to stone. Trolls are very fond of human flesh. In later myths they are roughly the size of humans or elves, and thought to be the owners of buried treasures. They are sometimes, although very rarely, portrayed as friendly, less ugly creatures.

Link: The Mythological Profile Test written by LacedWithASmile on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Does this mean I should start using the big words from my vocabumulary books? Heh, maybe I shouldn’t have checked this when my most recent post was about the muppets, but I’d actually prefer that y blog was readable and accessible instead of all scholarly and obtuse.

**I did the same survey for my photo blog and it came up as post-grad college level. Apparently you have to be edumecated to look at pictures.**

Unabashedly stolen from Kathy to offset the gloominess of my last post.

1.What’s in your wallet? Driver’s license, debit card, Social Security card, two dollars, and a picture of kendra

2.What’s under your bed? The floor.

3.What’s on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet? Vitamins

4.What’s in your underwear drawer? One would need a dresser to have an underwear drawer. My clean undies are in a bag in my closet

5.What’s in the trunk of your car? Windsheild washing fluid, my camera’s tripod, and thing I’m supposed to put over my cars roof when I have it down.

6. What colour is the under ware your wearing at this moment? Black

7. Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what’s in it? I have a lockable cabinet in my room. Anything not for public consumption goes there

8.Do you feel guilty about something right now, if yes what? I’ve been living guilt free lately.

9.What is the most embarrassing thing in your room right now? Yes, that’s right, I’m going to publish the most embarrasing thing I own for the whole world to see. (Hint: It’s made of latex)

10.Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about? Nope, my life is boring

11.What is your last thought before you fall asleep? It varies, but it’s probably sex related

12.How long have those leftovers been in the fridge? 2 days.

13.If I confiscated your computer and took a look around….what would I find? A lot of pictures

14.Do you sleep with anything? Don’t I wish

15.What is your midnight snack weakness? Peanut butter.

16.Have you ever you shop lifted? Yep, back in my misspent youth.

17.Have you ever vandalized anything? Does drawing on my desk at school count?

18.Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Danced, fought, loved, and played Parcheesi (the devil cheats, btw).

19.What do you wait until no one is looking to do? Bite my nails.

20. When did you lose your virginity? I didn’t lose it, I know exactly where it went.

*Stolen from Terri

Do you drive the speed limit?
Almost never.

Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
I have gotten two, to date.

What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven?
Just over 100 mph. Woot!

Do you listen to music in your car?
Hell yes, and loudly

Would you rather be the driver or the passenger?
Driver. i spent too long as an involuntary passenger

Do your passengers like to be backseat drivers?
Nope, they know better.

Whats the longest distance you’ve ever driven in one day?
A little over five hundred miles

Where was the first place you drove when you got your license?
Home from the test.

Did you have any restrictions on where you can drive?
Nope.

What kind of car do you drive?
2005 VW Beetle Convertible

What was your first car?
1977 Chevy Chevette hatchback

How many cars have you owned?
I’m not sure exactly. Around 8

Did you pass your learner’s permit test the first time?
Hell yes

Are you nervous about driving over bridges/tunnels?
Nah

Do you have a lot of junk in your car?
Not this one

Is your car clean?
It needs a washing

Do you sing while driving?
Depends on the song. I notice I tend to sing more with the top down.

Ever driven around without going anywhere?
Oh yeah, that’s a good way to spend an afternoon

Ever followed somone while driving just to see where they were going?
Nope.

Do you use cruise control?
Only on long trips

Do you blast your music?
Hell yes

Ever run a red light?
Not on purpose

Ever been chased by the cops?
Not in my car, no.

Ever been in an accident?
Two

Ever have a flat tire?
Several.

Ever had something else happen to your car?
Sure, I’ve had a few junkers in my day

Does your car have a sunroof?
It’s a convertible. The whole roof is a sunroof.

Is your transmission automatic or stickshift?
Stick.

Does your car get good gas mileage?
Yes it does.

Ever run out of gas?
Yep, I had a car once that registered a quarter tank of gas even when bone dry.

Ever run over an animal with your car?
Not a live one. I did hit a dead deer in January.

What year is your car?
2005. Didn’t I say that already?

Most passengers you’ve ever had in your car?
Three.

Places you usually drive your car?
Used to be to work most often, now I guess it’s the gym and the supermarket.

Ever get your car stuck somewhere?
Nope.

Ever back your car into something/someone back theirs into yours?
Yeah, I had an idiot in an SUV back into me when my car was a year old.

Ever get a parking ticket?
Yep, back when I was 17 in South Orange, New Jersey. It cost me two dollars

Ever driven without a license?
Nope.

Ever race your car?
No, I have all my teeth.

Have a good driver’s ed teacher?
Yes, I did

Ever had your windshield wipers stop working?
I had a baboon bend my wipers out of shape to get at the delisious pussy willow blossoms that were trapped underneath.

Ever lock your keys in your car?
Nah.

Anyone ever throw up in your car?
Heh no, but out the passenger side window and down the side, yes.

Ever lose your keys?
Nope

Ever have a dead battery?
Oh yeah

Ever hit a mailbox or run in a ditch?
Not as the driver. I’ve been a passenger in both those situations though.

Ever leave your lights on?
Not in the new car, but it’s happened.

Do you have a car payment?
Ohhhhh yeah.

Ever drive drunk?
Yes, I have. Hence my DWI conviction when I was 25 and going almost 10 years without a license because of the extreme surcharges in this damned state.

Ever come close to getting in an accident but didn’t?
Not really

Do you like driving?
Oh yes.

Do you like your car?
I LOVE my car.

	None: You could easily get away with murder. You have the cold and calculating logic of a sociopath. For all our sakes, go hug someone.

 

1. Dork :: Meister
2. Refurbished :: Renewed
3. Basket :: Case
4. Mousse :: Chocolate
5. Studio :: Sound
6. 8 ball :: Magic
7. Masking tape :: *absolutely blanked*
8. Love :: Lust
9. Wilder :: Gene
10. Lindsey :: Lohan

 

Free association is described as a “psychoanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content.” Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.

Stolen from Terri, yet again.

What kind of car would you buy?
I’d keep the one I have now, just take much better care of it maintenance-wise.

Where in the country would you move to?
I’d be nomadic.

What kind of house would you buy?
I doubt I’d by a house. The whole white picket fence fantasy has never been one of mine.

Would you give your family any money?
Hell, yeah. I’d pay off both my father’s mortgages, set up Kendra so she could get any education she wanted. I’d also help out my sister, but that would be conditional on her getting treatment.

What charity would you donate to?
I don’t know for certain. Probably something that helps abused women.

Would you give your friends any money?
I certainly would.

Where would you go on vacation?
The first place I’d go is Amsterdam.

What luxury item would you buy first?
A high end digital SLR camera and related equipment.

Would it change your life?
Totally and completely.

Would you save any of it?
I’d invest enough to have enough of an income to live on and use the rest for play money.

Would it change your current relationship?
With whom? (Keeping Terri’s answer)

Would you quit your job?
Job, what job?

Would you ever work again?
I’d travel, writing about my experiences and taking pictures everythwere I went. Whether I would be making money off of that is another question.

What one task would you never do again?
Figure out how to make thirteen dollars worth of food last a full week.

What dream of yours would you be able to do?
Traveling, seeing everything that ever interested me.

Would you change the way you dress?
Style-wise? No, not significantly.

Would you change anything about your body?
Yes, I’d use the resources of a personal trainer and dietician to get rid of the fat.

Would you miss anything about not bring rich?
Nothing leaps to mind. Perhaps not having to wonder if offered friendship was honest.

Who would be the first person you tell?
My Father, since he’d likely be in the house when I found out.

Would it bring you happiness?
Not the money itself, but what it enabled me to do would.

 

Your Score: Intellectual Inferno

You have an intellectual sexiness factor of 85!

  Who am I to give you advice? You already know everything you need to know, and if there’s something you don’t know, you’re eager to check it out. You are among the few special minds in the world that are truly free, totally creative, and absolutely sexy.

The downside is, it’s hard to find partners who can keep up with your quick, vigorously sexy mind. You often find yourself bored with anything less than exciting sex, and only those who equal your intellect, your openess, and your creativity can provide that excitment. You’re an avid reader, a deep thinking, and a sexually liberated person. You enjoy learning for its own sake just as much as you enjoy sex for pleasure’s own sake.

Your partner, if he or she is able to keep up with you, is extremely lucky to have you.

Link: The Intellectual Sexiness Test written by dr_eros on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Unabashedly stolen from Terri:

1. You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a gas station. What do you buy?
Hot dogs and bottled water

2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
Shark. Top of the food chain is the place to be.

3. Favorite redhead?
Kendra, of course

4. What do you order when you’re at IHOP?
I’ve been there once. I got the stuffed French toast. I wasn’t impressed

5. Last book you read?
My Life among the serial killers by Helen Morrison

6. Describe your favorite pair of underwear?
Any worn by a woman that I get to see

7. Describe the last time you were injured ?
I guess that would be the wasp sting last Friday

8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Whoever’s the most meaty

9. Rock concert or symphony?
Heavy metal played by a full symphony orchestra

10. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone?
Mobile phone?

11. Fizzy drink?
Champagne, since I can’t think of any other drink that fizzes

13. If you could only use one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be?
Driving. I love seeing the country between here and there

14. Most recent movie you’ve watched at the cinema?
Stardust, which was very cool

15. Name actors/actresses you’ve had the hots for?
Too many to list. Most lately, Michelle Pfiffer and Megan Fox

16. What’s your favorite kind of cake?
Chocolate Cheesecake

17. What did you have for dinner last night?
Cheeseburger and french onion roasted potatoes

18. Look to your left, what do you see?
My Bookcase

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Never

20. Favorite toy as a child?
Fire

21. Do you buy your own food?
It beats dumpster diving

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
As in gossip? Not really

23. When’s the last time you had a sour gummy worm?
Never ever.

24. What’s your favorite fruit?
Blueberries or strawberries

25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
One would have to be able to do a cartwheel for that to happen

26. Do you have a pet?
Nope

27. Have you ever eaten snow?
Surely

28. What color are your bedsheets?
Sheets?

29. What’s your mom’s favorite flower?
Daffodils (and that’s a total guess)

30. Have you ever done ballet?
Not on purpose

31. Do you listen to classical music?
If the mood strikes

32. Do you have a “wacky noodle”?
What is this wacky noodle you speak of?

33. Do you watch Spongebob?
Hell yeah, but not regularly

34. Last food you ate?
Cherry Tomatoes

35. Do people consider you intelligent?
Depends on how well they know me

36. What time is it?
4:05 PM

37. Is your away message on?
I have no away message

38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?
Plenty of times. Still would if I was bored and had glue handy

39. What curse word do you use the most?
Hell, probably

41. What time is your alarm clock set for?
5:30 AM

42. What CD is currently in your CD player?
A mix I burned of all kinds of music

43. What movie do you know every line to?
The Princess bride

44. What is your favorite salad dressing?
Annie’s Naturals Goddess dressing

45. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Doubtful, but I wouldn’t rule anything out

46. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
40.

47. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Surely as long as it’s someone I’m close to.

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Uhmmmm, I honestly can’t recall

49. What’s the most common way that most people mispronounce any part of your name?
My name is far to common and easy to pronounce for people to mess it up

50. If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name?
Why would I?