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It’s been forever since I’ve done one of these, so here’s two:

Your result for The Ohmigod Test…

Venus – Goddess of Love and Beauty

67% Goodness, 78% Vengeful, 67% Lawful and 67% benevolence!

Her cult originated from Ardea and Lavinium in Latium. The oldest temple known of Venus dates back to 293 BC. Venus is the daughter of Jupiter, and some of her lovers include Mars and Vulcan in addition to any human who takes her fancy. Venus’ importance rose, and that of her cult, through the influence of several Roman political leaders. The dictator Sulla made her his patroness, and both Julius Caesar and the emperor Augustus named her the ancestor of their (Julian) family: the ‘gens Julia’ was Aeneas, son of Venus and the mortal Anchises. Ceasar introduced the cult of Venus Genetrix, the goddess of motherhood and marriage, and built a temple for her in 46 BCE. She was also honored in the temple of Mars Ultor. The last great temple of Venus was built by the emperor Hadrianus near the Colosseum in 135 CE. Her followers it seems have been quiet for the last 2000 years but there’s always room for improvement. Grab yourself a copy of the Ethical Slut and a how-to book on church building and start it all up again.Her followers believe in Love, Beauty and Lust

Take The Ohmigod Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Sexplorer In Bed Test…

The Kink Master

-51 Pure and 12 Control!

You like sex, a lot. You are not concerned with who is in control, as long as you are getting some. Variety is the spice of life, so lets add some spice! Tie me up, spank my bottom, or vice versa, it is all good. The most versatile type, you can please or be pleased by nearly anyone.

Take The Sexplorer In Bed Test at HelloQuizzy

* Stolen shamelessly from Lez

1) Wheres the person you like right now?
Theoretical

2) Last time you consumed alcohol?
My 40th birthday, six months ago

3) What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
On the treadmill at the gym

4) What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Playing “The Sims 2″

5) How do you feel about the person who texted you last?
Unconditional love

6) Have you ever been around someone who was high?
Quite often, but not recently

7) Do you like your life as of now?
It’s a work in progress. I’ll let you know when I finish

8 ) Last thing you purchased?
A newspaper

9) Have you ever drank with your number one?
Yeppers

10) Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are?
I’m home, it’s a decent place, but I’d rather be somehwere that’s my own

11) What are you excited for?
I’m excited for the happiness of the people I care about

12) Hows your heart lately?
Rythmic

13) Who was the last person you hugged?
Kendra

14) Who was the last person to hold your hand?
I honestly don’t remember

15) Are you a jealous person?
Not a bit

16) Did you have a good birthday this year?
Decent, not fabulous

17) Are you tired right now?
Yep.

18 ) What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?
As long as both chicks are hot, I’m all for them!

Seriously though, Love is love and labels are meaningless. Hold on to those who make you happy and to hell with those who don’t approve

19) Do you chew on your straws?
uh-uh

20) Have you ever been called a tease?
*laughs hysterically*

21) Last Message on myspace from?
Ken

22) Three days from now will you be in a relationship?
If I am, those pigs are going to play hell with air traffic

23) Do you have curly hair?
Nah

24) Who was at your house last?
Jim

25) Do you smoke cigarettes?
Nope

26) Do you lead people on?
*renewal of laughter*

27) Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Assuming you mean romantically, probably not

28 ) Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it

29) Is there something you wanna do?
Many things

30) As of today, do you like anyone?
Meh, no one I’m pining over, if that’s what you mean

31) Have you kissed anyone on the lips today?
Nope

32) Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
That I have. My current record is above 70 hours.

33) Is your sister a slut?
My niece reads this, so I’ll decline to answer that

34) Do you like to cuddle?
Very much

35) Last person you cried over?
To the best of my memory, my Grandfather when he died

36) Do you cry easily?
Not at all.

37) Do you have any siblings?
One sister

38 ) Where did you go today ?
To the gym

39) What should you be doing right now?
Whatever I want

40) Are you a heavy sleeper?
Fairly

41) When was the last time you did the dishes?
Yesterday

42) Name every one that made you smile today:
Just myself and my weird ass sense of humor, but then, I haven’t been very sociable today

*Stolen from Avienne


You’re really upset; who is the first person you vent to?
Myself. I’ll talk to other people once I’ve calmed down, but if I’m really upset, I isolate myself.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Ideally, I wouldn’t date a smoker, but I’m not sure if it would be a deal breaker or not.

Can you do a split?
Hell no

Last person you texted?
Kendra

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
Morning, definitely, unless I’ve done something during the day to make me stinky

Have you been to New York City?
Yeah, but I prefer not to. I’m not a city type person.

Who is the last person you added to your contacts list in your phone?
Cyndi

Do you have any expensive jewelry?
Uhmmmm, nope

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Also Kendra

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone’s life?
You mean a positive one or just a difference? Either way yes, yes I have

Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?

I did until I had to answer this question, then the brain cell holding that information died a horrible, screaming death.

Have you ever tattooed anyone’s name on you?
Hell no

Why is your number one on MySpace number one?
Uhmmmm, she was the first person I added as a friend on Myspace, so she’s in the number one slot

How many piercings do you have?
None. I used to have one ear pierced, but it’s since closed up

Which year has been the best so far?
I suppose that would be 2003, the year I went back to school.

Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
Ayep

Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
Depends on which family member you’re talking about.

Last time you laughed really hard?
Really hard? Watching an Eddie Izzard DVD

Last text message in your inbox?
U home later?

When is your next road trip?
No road trip until I have a job and spare money, so…. not in the foreseeable future

Do you know anyone addicted to any type of drugs?

Unfortunately, yes

Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
I’d laugh hysterically and change my name to Mary

Where is your phone?
On my desk

Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
No, I do not. What’s he been telling you?

Where is your pet(s) right now?
Buried so long, not even bones remain

What color phone do you have?
Silver

What kind of phone do you have?
A slide phone

How many kids do you want to have?
Is it possible to have a negative number?

What color are your eyes?
Hazel

What is the natural color of your hair?
Blond and gray

What are you doing tomorrow?
Much the same as I did today.

Does heartbreak feel as bad as it sounds?
Never had it broken, just drained and dried out

What is the closest blue object to you?
The notebook I write down my workout information in

Have you eaten popcorn in the past 48 hours?
Nope

Been to a strip club?
Many, many times…. Not recently though

If you could say anything to any one person, what would it be?
Money’s not a problem, go to any college you want

Describe your life in one word:
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

How many cannibals could your body feed?
Created by OnePlusYou

How Old where you when……

1. Fell in love (real love, not that ‘Okay, I dated my high-school crush and broke up three seconds later’ thing)?: 33

2. Got a MySpace account – 37 (The sad part is I know this because the first comment I ever got on MySpace is still on the frontpage)

3. Smoked weed – 12 or 13

4. Got French kissed – I honestly don’t remember

5. Went to the hospital for surgery – I never had surgery

6. Got your heart broken badly – 34

8. Got arrested – I got busted for shoplifting before I was in high school, if that counts. I actually was cuffed and went to jail back when I was 23 or so.

9. Smoked a Cigarette – Tried it in my mid-teens, threw up for an hours, decided it wasn’t for me

10. Broke your first bone – Hmmm, nose broken in a car accident when I was 15 or 16

11. Went to a concert – As a kid, music was big in my family.

12. Got your own cell phone – 39

13. Got a speeding ticket – Uhmmmm, speeding, not just any ticket? Fist one I can remember was while going to Gibbs, so 36 or 37

14. Ran away – I’ve been running away my whole life

16. Snuck out of the house – Never had to

17. Pierced other than your ears – Not for me, nope

18. Got a tattoo – Again, not my thing

19. Totaled a car – 16, while practicing driving… in our own driveway… Hit the gas instead of the brakes

20. Moved out of your parent house – 20… the first time

21. How old are you now – 40

22. Had a kid? – Never, ever, ever

*Stolen from Toki

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE MY ANSWERS!!!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

1. Name something you use in the shower?
Back scrubber

2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform?
Tighty Whities

3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield.
Parking ticket

4. Name something a man might buy before a date?
Breath Spray

5. What’s another word for blemish?
Pimple

6. Something you’d cook in the microwave?
Popcorn

7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving.
Sofa bed

8. Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman?
More ‘open minded’ (know what I mean? nudge-nude, wink-wink, say no more)

9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner.
Sniffs inappropriate places

10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for.
Sobriety

11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for?
Eating Brownies… No, wait… I mean Identifying Plants

12. Name a phrase with the word ‘Home’ in it?
Home is where the heart is.

13. Name a sport where players lose teeth?
Nascar (though that may just be the fans, I’m not sure)

14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student’s day?
Catch them passing notes and reading them to the class

15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying?
Their face gets all puffy

16. Name something found under a car?
People who don’t use the crosswalk

17. Name a bird you wouldn’t want to eat?
Avienne’s (because A: I just wouldn’t and B: She’d hurt me [badly])

18. Name something that gets folded?
Origami

19. Name what happened to this question?
Muttered something about Tijuana and ran out the door

20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it?
My bank account

*Stolen from Avienne

 

 Your Score: Troll

You scored 50% Esotericism, 74% Power, and 84% Malevolence!

  In Scandinavian myth, trolls are ugly, malicious creatures and the enemies of mankind. They are much bigger and stronger than humans, and leave their caves only after dark to hunt. If they are exposed to sunlight they will instantly turn to stone. Trolls are very fond of human flesh. In later myths they are roughly the size of humans or elves, and thought to be the owners of buried treasures. They are sometimes, although very rarely, portrayed as friendly, less ugly creatures.

Link: The Mythological Profile Test written by LacedWithASmile on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

cash advance

Does this mean I should start using the big words from my vocabumulary books? Heh, maybe I shouldn’t have checked this when my most recent post was about the muppets, but I’d actually prefer that y blog was readable and accessible instead of all scholarly and obtuse.

**I did the same survey for my photo blog and it came up as post-grad college level. Apparently you have to be edumecated to look at pictures.**

Unabashedly stolen from Kathy to offset the gloominess of my last post.

1.What’s in your wallet? Driver’s license, debit card, Social Security card, two dollars, and a picture of kendra

2.What’s under your bed? The floor.

3.What’s on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet? Vitamins

4.What’s in your underwear drawer? One would need a dresser to have an underwear drawer. My clean undies are in a bag in my closet

5.What’s in the trunk of your car? Windsheild washing fluid, my camera’s tripod, and thing I’m supposed to put over my cars roof when I have it down.

6. What colour is the under ware your wearing at this moment? Black

7. Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what’s in it? I have a lockable cabinet in my room. Anything not for public consumption goes there

8.Do you feel guilty about something right now, if yes what? I’ve been living guilt free lately.

9.What is the most embarrassing thing in your room right now? Yes, that’s right, I’m going to publish the most embarrasing thing I own for the whole world to see. (Hint: It’s made of latex)

10.Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about? Nope, my life is boring

11.What is your last thought before you fall asleep? It varies, but it’s probably sex related

12.How long have those leftovers been in the fridge? 2 days.

13.If I confiscated your computer and took a look around….what would I find? A lot of pictures

14.Do you sleep with anything? Don’t I wish

15.What is your midnight snack weakness? Peanut butter.

16.Have you ever you shop lifted? Yep, back in my misspent youth.

17.Have you ever vandalized anything? Does drawing on my desk at school count?

18.Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Danced, fought, loved, and played Parcheesi (the devil cheats, btw).

19.What do you wait until no one is looking to do? Bite my nails.

20. When did you lose your virginity? I didn’t lose it, I know exactly where it went.

*Stolen from Terri

Do you drive the speed limit?
Almost never.

Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
I have gotten two, to date.

What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven?
Just over 100 mph. Woot!

Do you listen to music in your car?
Hell yes, and loudly

Would you rather be the driver or the passenger?
Driver. i spent too long as an involuntary passenger

Do your passengers like to be backseat drivers?
Nope, they know better.

Whats the longest distance you’ve ever driven in one day?
A little over five hundred miles

Where was the first place you drove when you got your license?
Home from the test.

Did you have any restrictions on where you can drive?
Nope.

What kind of car do you drive?
2005 VW Beetle Convertible

What was your first car?
1977 Chevy Chevette hatchback

How many cars have you owned?
I’m not sure exactly. Around 8

Did you pass your learner’s permit test the first time?
Hell yes

Are you nervous about driving over bridges/tunnels?
Nah

Do you have a lot of junk in your car?
Not this one

Is your car clean?
It needs a washing

Do you sing while driving?
Depends on the song. I notice I tend to sing more with the top down.

Ever driven around without going anywhere?
Oh yeah, that’s a good way to spend an afternoon

Ever followed somone while driving just to see where they were going?
Nope.

Do you use cruise control?
Only on long trips

Do you blast your music?
Hell yes

Ever run a red light?
Not on purpose

Ever been chased by the cops?
Not in my car, no.

Ever been in an accident?
Two

Ever have a flat tire?
Several.

Ever had something else happen to your car?
Sure, I’ve had a few junkers in my day

Does your car have a sunroof?
It’s a convertible. The whole roof is a sunroof.

Is your transmission automatic or stickshift?
Stick.

Does your car get good gas mileage?
Yes it does.

Ever run out of gas?
Yep, I had a car once that registered a quarter tank of gas even when bone dry.

Ever run over an animal with your car?
Not a live one. I did hit a dead deer in January.

What year is your car?
2005. Didn’t I say that already?

Most passengers you’ve ever had in your car?
Three.

Places you usually drive your car?
Used to be to work most often, now I guess it’s the gym and the supermarket.

Ever get your car stuck somewhere?
Nope.

Ever back your car into something/someone back theirs into yours?
Yeah, I had an idiot in an SUV back into me when my car was a year old.

Ever get a parking ticket?
Yep, back when I was 17 in South Orange, New Jersey. It cost me two dollars

Ever driven without a license?
Nope.

Ever race your car?
No, I have all my teeth.

Have a good driver’s ed teacher?
Yes, I did

Ever had your windshield wipers stop working?
I had a baboon bend my wipers out of shape to get at the delisious pussy willow blossoms that were trapped underneath.

Ever lock your keys in your car?
Nah.

Anyone ever throw up in your car?
Heh no, but out the passenger side window and down the side, yes.

Ever lose your keys?
Nope

Ever have a dead battery?
Oh yeah

Ever hit a mailbox or run in a ditch?
Not as the driver. I’ve been a passenger in both those situations though.

Ever leave your lights on?
Not in the new car, but it’s happened.

Do you have a car payment?
Ohhhhh yeah.

Ever drive drunk?
Yes, I have. Hence my DWI conviction when I was 25 and going almost 10 years without a license because of the extreme surcharges in this damned state.

Ever come close to getting in an accident but didn’t?
Not really

Do you like driving?
Oh yes.

Do you like your car?
I LOVE my car.

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