You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2007.

  1. Crook ::Thug
  2. Career ::Choice
  3. Freckles ::Face
  4. Scramble ::Eggs
  5. Mistake ::Regret
  6. Telephone ::Booth
  7. Thank you ::You’re Welcome
  8. Obstruction ::of Justice
  9. 24/7 ::Take a break
  10. SciFi ::Monsters

Free association is described as a “psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content.” Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.

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Funny comics unabashedly stolen from Home On The Strange. Go check ’em out!

This morning. the math teacher singled me out to ask me, “If
you have $200, and you give $60 to Mary, $60 to Sally and $60
to Susan, what would you have?”

Turned out that “an orgy” was not the correct answer.

~~~~~~~

A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see
a marriage counselor.

The counselor, in an attempt to find some common ground from
which to begin the session said, “Tell me about something the
two of you have in common.”

The husband said, “Well, neither one of us sucks dick.”

Whoohoo!! I am now the owner of a shiny new cell phone! Since my last one was a work phone, I lost it when I got laid off and I’ve been wanting another. It wasn’t a huge priority until I discovered that my father’s been screening my calls. As I want potential employers to actually get a hold of me when they call, that jumped a cell phone up on my ‘things needed’ list. Then I got a ‘pre-approval’ letter from T-Mobile last week that offered me a free phone in exchange for a two year commitment. Kismet, right? I get what I already wanted and save two hundred dollars to boot. Works for me. This deal was especially gratifying to me because the last time I tried for a cell phone (Back when I had just gotten out of school, about three years ago), no one would touch me unless I ponied up a thousand dollar security deposit. I guess my credit has drastically improved since then.

In other news, I’ve had a weird couple of days. I was awake for a grand total of 36 hours straight over Tuesday and Wednesday…. and not by choice. Every time I tried to sleep, it just didn’t come. I tried warm milk, breathing exercises, counting sheep. Nothing worked. My brain just wouldn’t shut off. It’s not like I was stressed over anything, nothing more than the usual anyway. Finally, I broke down and resorted to beer therapy. I picked up some Brooklyn Brewery Monster Ale to enjoy. For you beer aficionados, it’s a barleywine style ale, very tasty and I highly recommend it. Half a beer later, I was nodding off. So I crawled into bed and slept beautifully.


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Ahhhhh Sinfest, sometimes it echoes my very thoughts.

All right, where the hell did the last two weeks go? I swear that it was Labor Day just yesterday. How is it now the 18th of September? Ugh, and I’ve gotten absolutely nothing useful accomplished either. No artwork done, no photographs taken, no jobs found. I’ve basically been an unemployed vegetable, just turn me towards the light and water me occasionally.

Ok, deep breath. Well, I’m awake now. Time to get back on the plan. I get my Unemployment payment tomorrow, which means I can put gas in my car and actually get out and do something. The question is what I should get out and do. I need income, more than I’m making off of unemployment. Maybe it’s time to bite the bullet and contact my old boss Greg to see if any of the stores could use some free-lance cartridge technician help. Nothing long term, mind you, just something to put some cash in my pocket….. That’s not a bad idea. I can do that without gagging too much.  It’s at least something productive.

All right, so Britney Spears gave a bad performance at some damn awards show. Let’s all take a deep breath and get the hell over it…. Seriously. My whole morning workout I had to endure continual clips (on the five televisions) of her looking like a washed up stripper in desperate need of a pole. I go on the net and am flooded with more pictures, video clips, and rants. I can usually ignore celebrity hype, but this is just getting on my freakin’ nerves.

Maybe the government should do their business in g-strings and push up bras while lip syncing their speeches. They could even grind on a pole while stripping away our rights and freedoms. Maybe then people will actually notice.

None: You could easily get away with murder. You have the cold and calculating logic of a sociopath. For all our sakes, go hug someone.

 

  1. Dork :: Meister
  2. Refurbished :: Renewed
  3. Basket :: Case
  4. Mousse :: Chocolate
  5. Studio :: Sound
  6. 8 ball :: Magic
  7. Masking tape :: *absolutely blanked*
  8. Love :: Lust
  9. Wilder :: Gene
  10. Lindsey :: Lohan

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Free association is described as a “psychoanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content.” Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.

So, I woke up this morning and did my usual routine of stumbling out of bed and immediately turning on my computer. Only today I was greeted with the unhappy message that I had no internet connection. I called my ISP and got a recording saying that their customers in New Jersey may experience service outages and that they expect to have the problem resolved within 48 hours. Ah, such happy news for before coffee time. So, I grumbled and shrugged, then went to the gym. After that, I went to Wal-mart for some new underwear (four pairs for ten bucks and no lead in the cotton weave, we promise!) as my old stuff was finding religion…. It was getting holey! Get it?! Huh, HUH?… *Ahem* Anyway, I got home to find my internet had returned and an e-mail waiting from the Capital One fraud department to contact them immediately. It seems that someone tried to charge over eighteen hundred dollars worth of merchandise on my card yesterday. Ha! Fie on them!! Another criminal mastermind foiled by my tiny credit limit!

All that before one in the afternoon. Heh, makes me wonder how the rest of the day is going to go. Maybe I should just hide under the covers until tomorrow.


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If you like a heaping helping of geekiness with your comedy (like I do), check out Dueling Analogs.