You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2008.

I say … and you think … ?

  1. Groceries ::Bringing home the
  2. Deodorant ::Pit stink
  3. Psychic ::Phenomena
  4. Cherries ::Jubilee
  5. Spooky ::shit is happening here
  6. Yogurt ::Curdled
  7. Kitchen ::Sink
  8. Nothing personal ::”it’s not you, it’s me”
  9. Be nice ::Be very, very nice
  10. Delivery ::Driver

Free association is described as a “psychoanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content.” Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.

There are times when I feel that the Powers-That-Be are out to get me. Classic paranoia, you say? Well, just because you’re paranoid, that doesn’t mean no one is out to get you. I’ll give you my case in point. Lately, I’ve been feeling restless. I’ve been being a good boy, sticking to my budget, eating healthy, exercising, but the urge to go out and do something loud, stupid, and expensive has been growing. Then I realized that this Friday was the fifth Friday of the month. My budget call for four paychecks a month to cover all my bills, so this would be a *gasp* “extra” paycheck…. As in, a little extra spending money, a chance to go out and do something.  As luck would have it, I was also scheduled to have this Friday off. I talked to my manager and she was kind enough to schedule me for Saturday off as well. That’s right, extra money and two days off in a row! Ah, the possibilities. Needless to say, I was excited, my mind filled with ideas of what I could do and where I could go. Nothing extravagant, mind you, but just getting out of the house and enjoying myself….. All you cynics see it coming, right?

Fast forward our little story to Friday at five am, two hours to go in my Thursday night shift. I’m trying to run the (leaky) floor cleaner, make coffee, and wait on customers, all at the same time. A typical morning. I’ve parked the floor cleaner to make several fresh pots of coffee when I spot a customer waiting at the register, so I hith the start button and hurry around the attend to the customer when…… wait for it…. my right foot hits a patch of water that has come from the leaking floor machine, under a rack of shelves, and out the other side. My right foot shoots out in front of me, but I keep myself from falling backwards, going down with all my weight on my left knee instead. I feel a sharp pain, curse, get up and go to help the customer, thinking nothing more of it….. That is, until I go to move back to the coffee area after ringing up sales for a few minutes. That’s when I feel an odd tightness in my pant leg:


Lovely, isn’t it? Ok, so my knee has swollen like a frat boy at a go-go bar, but it doesn’t really hurt all that much and I can still put my full weight on it….. Always good news. I finished the last two hours of my shift, mainly because there was no one else in the store to take over for me, and reported the accident to my manager when she got in. After that, it was a trip to the emergency room where I got to spent a few hours with some very nice nurses and doctors, get some x-rays taken, all that fun stuff. Nothing in my knee is broken, nor is there any serious damage. It’s just a simple contusion and some swelling. The doctor says that all I need to do is take it easy for a couple of days,  stay off my feet as much as possible, and I’ll be fine.

Certainly changes my plans for my two days off doesn’t it? I bet the Powers-That-Be are laughing their collective asses off right now.

If you’re singing Christmas songs on your neighbor’s lawn at night with your church group, it’s called “caroling.”

But if you’re doing it alone with no pants on, it’s called “drunk and disorderly.”

~~~~~~

Love means never having to ask, “Does that fifty include a
spanking?”
~~~~~~
A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said, ‘Honey, tell me something that will make me Happy and Sad all at the same time.’

She said. ‘You have the biggest pecker of all your friends.’


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So, this is pretty much a “things are going fine” kind of post. We’re coming to the end of my second month at the new job and I have to say, I have no major complaints…. Except, of course, I’m not making enough money, but that’s just a given. If I keep going how I’m going, the promotions will come and I’ll be back to making decent money. My short term goal is to make assistant manager by my six month mark and I don’t think that will be too much of a problem. Work outs are also going well. I’m not up the the frequency I’d like but I pretty much blame working third shift for that. Persistence is key and I’ll get there.

Let’s see, what else can I bore you with? Hmmmm, I noticed I’d developed a callous on the first knuckle of my index finger a while back. I thought it was a wart at first because I didn’t think I used that part of my hand for anything that’d cause a callous. Then, the other night, I realized that when I closed the cash drawer of my register, I tended to push it shut with my knuckle. So, there’s one of life’s minor mysteries solved 🙂

Yep, told you I didn’t have anything to say. Tune in for our next episode when i discuss the flavors of my burps (not really).


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So, I’m running the floor machine as part of my nightly cleaning duties at work when I notice a beetle scurrying along the floor as fast as it’s little legs will carry it. Being the mature, responsible adult that I am, I immediately turned the machine to chase after the bug….. But I don’t just simply run it down. Where’s the fun in that? No, I slow down to keep the huge rotating brush just behind the frantically running beetle and start running a theatrical monologue in my head… As in “Will Captain Carapace, the insectoid wonder, escape the diabolical trap laid by…. The Sweeper?!? Da DA DUmmm“. Yeah, so after that bit of amusement had run it’s course, I accelerated to sweep it up only to discover, much to my delight, that the brush only knocked the beetle away, spinning it as it did. So, then I spent a few minutes playing “bumper beetle” until the poor little thing finally got scooped up by the machine. It was the most amusing thing to happen to me all night.

Ah, the hoorors I’ve visited on out little multu-legged friends. Yes, I was the type of kid that tortured houseflies, grasshoppers, lightning bugs, and anything else I could catch. I fried them, I froze them. I played “Vlad the Impaler” only with toothpicks. Heh, shows you what kind of books I read as a young child, doesn’t it? However, by far my favorite thing to do was experiment on them. My parents always had a well stocked medicine cabinet. Lots of over the counter drugs as well as prescriptions. I’d mix several of them together and then test the concoction out on whatever bugs I could catch at the time. My goal (honestly!) was to come up with a formula that would give the insects superpowers, so I could then take it myself. Alas, most experiments only resulted in the death of the subject.

And no, I did NOT grow up to become a serial killer (as far as you know), thank you very much! I’m perfectly normal and well adjusted now….. Yessss, normal, that will do just fine…..

*Stolen from OKC

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by “ology”

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Usually ranch

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Depends on my mood. I go to the CHna Buffet most often. It’s inexpensive, tasty, and all you can eat.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Steak

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Sauteed onions and Pepperoni

What do you like to put on your toast?
Melted cheese

*TECHNOLOGY*

What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Hold me when I’m here by Cutofakiss

How many televisions are in your house?
Two

What color cell phone do you have?
Silver

*BIOLOGY*

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right handed

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Some teeth, but that’s it

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Weights at the Gym

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Nope, never

*BULLSHITOLOGY*

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I like the one I have

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Sure, why not?

*DUMBOLOGY*

Last time you had a run-in with the cops.
Hmmmm, that would be when I was living out near Seattle and they busted down my door looking for a guy who’d been stupid enough to threaten his girlfriend with a gun.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Happy

Last person you talked to?
My Father

Last person you hugged?
Nela (one of my co-workers whose very touchy-feely)

*FAVORITOLOGY*

Season?
Spring

Holiday?
Halloween

Day of the week
My day off

Month?
Don’t really have one

*CURRENTOLOGY*

Missing someone?
Oh, yes

Mood?
A bit tired, but otherwise good

Listening to?
Sweet silence

Worrying about?
Money, as always

*RANDOMOLOGY*

First place you went this morning?
Home from work

What can you not wait to do?
Get financially stable and move to my own place

What’s the last movie you saw?
Hancock

Do you smile often?
Yep

I really need to get out and take more pictures:


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Free association is described as a “psychoanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content.” Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.

I say … and you think … ?

  1. Cry ::Havoc and let loose the dogs of war!
  2. Stretch ::Cramp
  3. Efficient ::Assassin
  4. Brunch ::Meet me for
  5. Afro ::Big hair
  6. Preheat ::to 400 degrees
  7. Delicious ::Aromas
  8. Global warming ::Take action
  9. Actions ::have consequences
  10. Ride :: ’em Cowgirl!

I’ve been married 25 years, took a look at my wife one day
and said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a
cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black
and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot
25 year old blond. Now, we have a nice house, nice car,
big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50
year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up
your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out
and find a hot, 25 year old blond, and she would make sure
that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment,
driving a cheap car and sleeping on a sofa bed…


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Well, I’m feeling muuuuuch better now. My butt was dragging all last night and I slept another ten hours today, but I woke up feeling relatively normal. I had some seriously intense and freaky dreams, but nothing that really stuck with me into the waking world. I do recall little snippets and there were a lot of people from my past in there, people that I haven’t even thought of in years, much less had any interaction with. Seems like the past has been on my mind a lot lately, so maybe my brain is trying to work through something. If so, I’m sure it’ll clue me in when it’s ready.

Other than that… Well, let’s see. The “meeting” on Monday turned out to be more of a social barbecue to thank the crew for having one of the best and smoothest store opening ever…. according to the District Manager anyway. Free food is always good and I appreciate the gesture, but if I had known it was just a party, I may not have bothered getting up and schlepping out there in the middle of the day. Still, it’s good to participate in that sort of thing, I suppose, don’t want to be seen as anti-social. I also got a chance to talk to the district manager about the company’s tuition reimbursement policy. I may have to be with them a year before I can take advantage of it, but that’s fine. If all goes well, I’ll be able to go  back to school part time starting next fall or maybe as early as summer. Hmmmm, summer heat and college girls…. sounds promising. *ahem* Sorry (not really)

I also had a good talk with my manager. She said her only real concern with me is that she felt I’d leave if I found a better paying job. I was honest with her and told her that in the beginning, I felt that this job was extremely temporary (ok, I didn’t quite say extremely) until I found a better one, but since I’d gotten to know the company better and discovered I enjoyed the work much more than expected, I was thinking long term. I assured her that I wasn’t actively looking for another job and unless something fantastic dropped in my lap (which is pretty much as likely as winning the lottery), I’d be staying with the company a long time. So, it was good to clear the air on that, as well.

I’ve also now moved up to the “green book” training manual, which is supposed to prepare me for more responsibility. Once I complete that, I’ll be eligible for another promotion, which would be a good thing.

So, all in all, things are good. Here’s hoping they continue that way