You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Funny’ category.


(click image for larger size)


(click image for larger size)

“The big mistake men make is that when they turn thirteen or
fourteen and all of a sudden they’ve reached puberty they
believe that they like women. Actually, you’re just horny.
It doesn’t mean you like women any more at 21 than you did
at ten.” –Jules Feiffer


(click image for larger size)

*Comics unabashedly stolen from Least I Could Do And Sinfest. Go check ’em out!

cb20090113

cb20090123


(click image for larger size)

*Questionable Content, always snarky, always fun!

~~~~~

One night my friend John and I were sitting at a bar where
he used to work, when an attractive woman, a former co-
worker, came in and sat next to him. She told him she had
just had a fight with her husband, a police officer, and
needed to get out of the house for a while.

They had been talking for a few minutes when, as a joke,
I leaned over to John. “Don’t look now,” I whispered,
“but a guy about six-five just walked in. And he’s got
a gun.”

Without hesitating, John turned to me. “Quick, Ed,” he
said, “kiss me on the mouth!”

safety

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3.. It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

coffee

celebrity-pictures-yoda-being-greenBeen sick, but getting better. Hopefully, I’ll be updating soon.

A new couple were making love in the dunes. When they were
done he said, “How lucky for us that you brought a condom
with you.”

She said, “We’re even luckier than you think because I found
it here in the sand.”


(click image for larger size)

Wow, been a while since I’ve actually blogged, eh? I just really haven’t had all that much to say. It’s just been a work-eat-sleep-repeat kind of life lately.

Work-wise, things are going well. I’m still poor, but I’ve been working enough overtime to cover the bills (barely). One of our assistant managers got fired for drinking on the job as well as theft.  He’d apparently been taking Red Bull without paying for it, then going out to his car and adding vodka. The guy was actually stupid (or drunk) enough to offer some to a co-worker, which is how he got caught. After he got fired, reviews of the security footage showed a whole bunch of other things going on. So, with any luck, I’ll be promoted to Assistant Manager soon. My manager siad she’d promote me now, but she’s afraid she’ll lose me to another store if she does and she wants to get me trained up a bit more so I’m not thrown into a situation I’m not ready for. Hopefully, it’ll happen after the new year starts. Apparently, there was discussion between some of the store managers and our district manager about me specifically after there last meeting. Other stores are hurting for competent leaders, so I guess I’m a hot commodity 😉

Meanwhile, I’m holding on and trying not to screw up. I found out from a co-worker that Nimeh is still working against me. Apparently, she has a “definite vendetta” against me and when I turn over the store after the shift change, she walks around looking for stuff that she can report to our manager. Well, let her. There’s not much to find, but of course, when you’re looking for problems, you’ll find them, especially if you’re being extra nit-picky. Still, Liz is smart enough to know what’s going on and Nimeh is actually making herself look much worse than she’s causing problems for me. Meanwhile, I’m taking the high road, doing my job to the best of my ability, and not worrying about it. I know my work is appreciated by those that matter.

So, time to get to work. That’s the update for the past couple of weeks. I’ll try to blog a bit more often 🙂

hellocthulhu

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it.”

The teacher answered quickly, “That would be the Titanic.” St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn’t *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: “How many people died on the ship?”

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. “1,228,” he answered.

“That’s right! You may enter.”

St. Peter turned to the lawyer. “Name them.”